So I was feeling really good about making my shift yesterday and do as well as I did. I was trying to stand more than usual to keep myself from getting too comfortable. I thought it was good until I woke up with a charlie horse in my right calf, that my moaning in pain woke Ryan up.
So I started this yesterday and didn't finish my thoughts. I'm still pretty sore today and tired, I'm so frustrated with how just a few hours of working can leave me so tired and sore. It doesn't seem to matter what I do. I just hope I can find a Dr. soon and get some more help. The Dr. and the pain clinic I go to whom I skype with is really nice and kind, it helps me have faith that I can find someone who will be willing to help me too. I'm just hoping it isn't too far for me to get to. I just want to get better so badly, just be able to feel better about myself so I can start to live again. Even if it's just to be able to do things at home and be creative on some level is good enough for me. I don't need much to be happy. Not that I'm unhappy either, just unsatisfied with my situation financially and in feeling secure like I can take care of myself. It will get better though. In the meantime I'm binge watching Friends on Netflix, some good feel good TV. It's been a few years for sure.
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