I'm so frustrated and angry today. I just finished spotting maybe a week ago & now it's starting again. I can feel my period coming & I'm dreading it so much. I remembered when I awoke today that I had some pain last night and then when I got up I could feel it. It feels like someone is pouring chemicals inside me and it's making everything burn and hurt. It feels like I was punched over and over inside and I'm all bruised. My hips are stiff and ache so much that it hurts to move them. It's so depressing that I can't even believe it. I'm starting to worry about work, I worry because I don't know how much time I will miss. I worry I might lose my job. I wish my fucking treatment didn't have to affect how I feel so much, these fucking hormones have the best of me right now too. I've been a bitch lately & I don't like it.

I'm not ok right now, I'm freaking out because of my pain.

I need to write a list of all the things I need to do for myself, book my surgery off, some Vacation time, call my Dr.'s and get in and get my referrals. I just hate it. I do need to find a Dr. that will help me with my pain though because I don't know how much more of this I can take. I'm just thankful that I only work 4 hours tonight. I can handle that right now, as long as I have stuff to keep me busy. I just have to take it one moment at a time.