My stupid, stupid body just keeps giving me more problems. I have been bleeding/ spotting for over a week now and pervious to this starting I had a period only 2 weeks before, and I'm on the pill right now. I've been on it continually since after my surgery. I don't understand this at all, I know spotting is normal with endometriosis but it's luckily something I've never had to get used to. I may go to the clinic tomorrow just to see if I should be concerned. It's probably from all of the stress of trying to deal with that fucking place to get a family Dr., but that's another story. I don't even want to get into it, I'm trying to stay positive and I don't want it to ruin my night.
I'm feeling very lucky though. For all of the people I have in my life that love me and are here for me, I can't imagine doing this any other way. I am so lucky to have Ryan too, he took such good care of me after my surgery and always does. He has really taken the time to try and understand my health problems the best he can, and I am so thankful for that. He's the best, and for putting up with all of my craziness too, especially after my surgery. I went a bit loopy from all the drugs they had me on. I don't do well with chemicals, hence the use of marihuana. Thankfully I have an appointment with an Cannabis Clinic very soon. I can't even tell you how long I have waited for this, and I'm just hoping everything goes well for me and I can get my cannabis card. I need it so much. I really believe and know the healing power of it, and it just makes sense to me. I know it is still controversial but I understand the side affects of it a lot better than most medication out there.
I'm really hoping I can get a family Doctor soon so I can get the help I need. I'm really freaked out about this spotting but I'm telling myself it's because I'm so stressed and fired up about this whole thing with trying to get a Doctor. It's completely fucked up, for lack of a better term. I just need to get my body working well enough so I can take care of myself. It is getting frustrating not being able to take care of myself like I want to, I don't even have the energy to have a bath tonight. It's a difficult thing to explain. I at least made myself henna my hair last weekend and it was so worth it. It always makes me feel better and my hair smells so nice after.
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