Another day of it

I am FUCKING spotting AGAIN today?! This time I didn't miss my pill, I've checked like 3 times. I guess this is my body's way of telling me that I should have a period, but I just can't bare it right now, especially for work on Wednesday. Maybe after that? I just don't want to have to deal with the emotional stress, physical pain, insane and grueling fatigue (I'm already tired enough) and fucking bullshit it brings me. I'm pretty sure it's not related to the UTI I have because it was like period blood, there was even a clot. It was too red and thick I think to be from my urine. I'm just so over this.. I feel like such crap already. I have to go to Sunnybrook in the morning to see a urogynecologist, which I've never really heard of but really hope it's worth. I did a little research and read something about how they can help with painful sex, so here's hoping that means painful orgasms too. I just want someone to seem like the really want to help me. I've yet really feel that from some of these specialists. I've got to get back in to see my gp too and let her know that the gastro Dr. didn't want to do a colonoscopy because he just thinks its ibs because of my fibromyalgia. Just more stuff I need to get done, it's just so tiring having to fight so hard for your health and feel like you are being listened to and taken care of. I'm staying as positive as possible for tomorrow and hoping some good can come of it.