Wow, am I glad I got my shift covered yesterday when I was at work. I really didn't want to have to call in this morning and the pain was bad enough yesterday that I should have called in. Somehow I made it through, by popping extra strength Advil like mints. I really hate that, its mostly just psychological. I'm going to see my Dr. in a couple of weeks to ask for some referrals... finally. I know I need to stay on top of shit and be my own advocate, but it gets tiring, and I'm a procrastinator.

My hips are so unbelievably sore today, it's hard to explain. The pain is just so insane.

*continuing this 2 days later.. my hips are still just as sore, if not more. I have to work tomorrow night and I'm just dreading it, but I can't afford to miss it. I already gave up Sunday. I've started my period at least, I'm so glad I've got my Diva cup. This explains it all:

I slept until 4 yesterday. I couldn't believe it, but that's how tired this makes me. I feel like I could take a nap now. I can feel everything inside me throbbing and pulsing and it's gross and painful. Only 3 months left until surgery.


...another 2 days later, maybe I'll actually finish my thoughts here with this post. I made it through 4 hours of work last night, I don't even know how. It was pretty painful and tiring. Luckily it wasn't to busy because of the storm. I'm just so tired of being so tired all the time. I wish I could be physically active without the fear of my body hurting for days afterwards. I am so sore today too, I just want to go back to bed. I have to say one good thing has been since I've started this Lolo, my period has actually been shorter. I'm amazed that it has worked. I still have a lot of spotting after, but it's nothing compared to my period. This has helped me keep my faith and been a blessing. Anything to make anything easier for me is amazing. I still get the pain and everything, but my heaviness I get in my stomach doesn't seem to last as long, I think? I don't really know, but I just know that I love having a shorter period. It's a fucking miracle for me.

I suppose I should finish up these thoughts. I just needed to get some stuff out, and I know there is more but this is it for now.